It's been a rather crappy day for me

I just found out that my long-term disability will be terminated as of Dec. 31. What a nice Christmas present! The original plan was to look at working full time at my friend's dental hygiene spa around now, but that got changed and the new plan (which was also encouraged by my psychiatrist and rehabilitation specialist) was to start working part time by January and then then full time around March or April. How things can change on a dime! I'm now being pushed forward by my disability insurance company to embark on working 40 hours per week within the next two months.

Part of me is psyched at the challenge, and part of me is scared to death! It's also a fairly new office (they've only been open for two and a half months), and while business is steady, I didn't want to have to add the burden of paying me full-time to the mix of things so soon. They said that it's fine and that they'll take care of me, but I know it will be a bit financially stressful for them.

I know in the end things will be okay, and I'm trying to stay positive. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. xo

Feeling a little blue

The past little while I have been feeling rather down and (dare I say it?) depressed. I stopped taking Celexa a while back (which had helped stabilize my mood at the time) and now I am only on Gabapentin. I'm wondering if our crazy Toronto weather this fall is a contributing factor to my gloominess.

I have also been taking some green tea pills for the past month or so to help with the weight I gained while trying all sorts of antidepressants. I gained about 40 pounds while I was taking Effexor (about a year ago) and I haven't been able to lose any of the weight. So I bought some green tea pills from the Carrot Common's Dispensary store with the hopes that it will help speed up my metabolism and give me more energy as it states on the bottle.

So far I still haven't lost any weight or gained any more energy. Although I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping the past couple of weeks. Not sure if it's because there's alot on my mind or if it's the extra caffeine in the green tea pills (I do take them in the morning and at lunch so the caffeine shouldn't be effecting me at 11:00 p.m. when I try to sleep, right?).

Anyways, I feel like lately I have been experiencing a bit more anxiety than usual, and considering the fact that I was feeling so much better on the Gabapentin I'm a bit concerned because things were starting to really move forward to me and I really, really don't want to take any more steps back. Things are going pretty well for me and I want to keep up that momentum. Any suggestions?

Anyways, I hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving this weekend! Take it easy and eat lots and lots of turkey!

Not much going on

I'm feeling a bit weird today; kind of been in a bit of a funk, I guess. I know it'll pass. I'm just finding it a little hard to cope today. Please keep me in your prayers.