First post of 2009

I hope you had a great New Years eve and New Years day. My New Years celebrations were good. I had a lot of anxiety leading up to my New Years eve get-together with some friends. Of course the anticipation was far worse than the actual outcome, but that's what we anxiety sufferers have to realize, right? That the anticipation of situations is always worse in our minds. I still have a long way to go in terms of mentally realizing this, but knowing that this is how it is is part of the battle towards recovery, right?

For me, I turn to my faith in many difficult situations when I feel so alone and full of despair. If nothing else, I feel that it helps me to be able to pray that things will get better and knowing that God will listen to me without judgment. Not knowing many people personally who are going through the same thing as me is very difficult. I have a great support system in my family and friends, but many of them have no idea what I am truly dealing with on a daily basis so it's hard to have to explain what it's like.

It's nice to have people to talk to via blogs and support groups, but I would really like to be able to talk to people that I know in person. To be able to go through ups and downs and know that the other person supports and understands is huge. I know that everyone with anxiety disorders have different issues that affect them or have different symptoms of it, but we can still help each other cope.

I haven't seen a therapist in months...partly because of cost and partly because we can't find a mutually convenient time to connect. I thought I was doing better and didn't need it, but as I find myself having to cope on my own I feel like I need a bit more guidance. We'll see. I hope 2009 is a better year than last, and I wish all my readers a great year to come!