Depression may be linked to migraines

I saw this interesting article on a Global TV website today about the connection between migraines and mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety. Check out the article. It's really interesting. Upon reflection, before I was diagnosed with social anxiety in 2004 I had a migraine (my first ever) that lasted for two weeks straight. I'm amazed that this revelation has only come to light now.

35% of people who suffered migraines also suffered from a mental disorder,
ranging from depression and anxiety to phobias and substance abuse

The link between pesticides and anxiety/depression

I have been doing a lot of research over the past few days, trying to find out what other routes I could take to lessen my daily anxieties: seeing another psychotherapist, seeing a Naturopathic Doctor, hypnosis, acupuncture...a myriad of things. I wanted to check out everything and anything that could help me. Then I stumbled upon one therapist in Toronto that usually asks her anxiety/depression clients about their diet...to which she recommends they try a diet full of organic foods and in short periods of time they start to feel a lot better. So I continued on this path and found out that there have been links between pesticides (used in normal grocery store produce, for example) and anxiety/depression.

I've never been much of a sugar person, but sugar has also been linked to depression for years. I basically continues researching organic foods and anxiety and I'm wondering if that would help me. Although organic food here is very expensive, which is probably why I've never tried it. Have you ever eaten organic food and found that it helps you with your mood disorder? Basically, through my research I've been warned of pesticides used in produce, and to stay away from sugar, caffeine, products made of white flour, not to eat pork or margerine or drink cow's milk...it became such a long list of things I shouldn't consume that I got really frustrated. I'm not shy when it comes to trying new things (organic food, for example), I simply wanted to know if it would really be beneficial for me or just a waste of money?

I found this information to be very interesting, and I want to know if you have tried any of the things I mentioned looking up when I was conducting my research. Please leave me a comment about which one it was and how the experience is/was for you. I am seriously considering seeing a Naturopathic Doctor at least to see what they say (plus it's covered by my husband's insurance plan). I'd like to hear your story. :)

Happy New Year!

I want to take the time to wish all my readers a very Happy New Year! I hope 2009 is a better year for all of us, and that it brings nothing but good things. Having battled anxiety and depression for the better part of my life, I know it's not easy to overcome your fears and feelings, but I hope and pray that we get through this together. As my friend often says, "There's nowhere to go but up."

I also wanted to bring your attention to a nice article I read that inspires me to try harder to get better. Sometimes I fear that I will never overcome my anxiety and it scares me to death, but I have to stay positive. I have such a great support system and I know that things will get better. I want them to get better!

That said, have a safe and wonderful New Years eve and New Years day!

I'm spending New Years eve with a few friends in their home, and New Years day is always spent with my family. Hopefully all will all be good. I'm looking forward to spending a few days taking it easy and just being myself.

Feeling a little blue

The past little while I have been feeling rather down and (dare I say it?) depressed. I stopped taking Celexa a while back (which had helped stabilize my mood at the time) and now I am only on Gabapentin. I'm wondering if our crazy Toronto weather this fall is a contributing factor to my gloominess.

I have also been taking some green tea pills for the past month or so to help with the weight I gained while trying all sorts of antidepressants. I gained about 40 pounds while I was taking Effexor (about a year ago) and I haven't been able to lose any of the weight. So I bought some green tea pills from the Carrot Common's Dispensary store with the hopes that it will help speed up my metabolism and give me more energy as it states on the bottle.

So far I still haven't lost any weight or gained any more energy. Although I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping the past couple of weeks. Not sure if it's because there's alot on my mind or if it's the extra caffeine in the green tea pills (I do take them in the morning and at lunch so the caffeine shouldn't be effecting me at 11:00 p.m. when I try to sleep, right?).

Anyways, I feel like lately I have been experiencing a bit more anxiety than usual, and considering the fact that I was feeling so much better on the Gabapentin I'm a bit concerned because things were starting to really move forward to me and I really, really don't want to take any more steps back. Things are going pretty well for me and I want to keep up that momentum. Any suggestions?

Anyways, I hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving this weekend! Take it easy and eat lots and lots of turkey!

Here I am!

I've been procrastinating in posting my next blog. For no other reason than general laziness, I suppose. Although my husband has been out of town on business for a week so I've been spending a lot of time at my parents' house...another reason I haven't posted in a while. Anyhow, I apologize and am now here to fill you in on the last few days in my life.

So, I saw my psychiatrist on Monday and I swear to God I wanted to slap him! I went in and sat down (after he accidentally skipped me and saw the person who was scheduled to see him after me) and explained that I wanted to change my meds from Zoloft to something else because since I've been on Zoloft (about a month and a half) I've gained about 15 lbs. Now, previously I had told him that the reason I had to get off Effexor (before I started seeing him) was because it had made me gain so much weight. I couldn't stop eating. It made me hungry all the time to the point where if I felt hungry and didn't eat I would feel faint. So back to Monday. I tell him I need to switch meds and you know what he says to me?

"Oh...I guess if I had remembered about your issues with weight gain and it had been on the top of my mind I would have never prescribed Zoloft for you. Many people gain weight on Zoloft."

Now you might be thinking that it was an innocent mistake that he forgot this, or didn't check my file before giving me Zoloft, but it's not. Since I've been seeing him (about 8-9 months), every appointment I am forced to tell him my whole life story and medical history because he's forgotten and can't bother to take five minutes before our appointments to review my file. I am so frustrated! I want to try and see someone else but I don't like confrontation and I also don't know how long it will be before I can get in to see someone else.

Anyways, so I had him give me a new prescription and I am now on Celexa. I have a few friends that have said it has helped them, so I'm really keeping my fingers crossed. If any of my readers have has experiences with this medication I would love to hear about it. The other ironic thing is that I asked my psychiatrist about Celexa the last time I saw him because I had heard good things about it, and he told me that Celexa is his number one choice to prescribe to patients with depression but not with anxiety. He said that he likes to stick to medications that have had more studies done regarding anxiety. Fair enough...but why then would he recommend it so eagerly to me this time instead of trying something else like Prozac (which he mentioned to me before)?

Has anyone else had such a rotten experience with a psychiatrist or someone else in the medical profession who is suppose to help you?

This weekend

This weekend was a little busier for me than usual. I attended a family birthday party on Friday night and then dropped in on some friends on Saturday to see their new house. I have to say that the party on Friday, where there were about 30 people crammed into a very tight area, where I feel like I should have felt anxious, I wasn't. And on Saturday, where it was just my husband and I with our two friends, touring their house I felt super anxious. Does this make any sense to you? Normally I'm okay when it's just a few people, but a basketcase in a crowd. Either way, I have to congratulate myself for making it through both situations, right? And even though I felt nauseous on Saturday, of course I never threw up. I just have to keep that in mind that no matter how nauseous I get when I'm anxious, I've never actually thrown up from it.

On another note, I'm noticing that since I've been on Zoloft (which has only been a few weeks) I've been super hungry all the time and as a result have gained a bit of weight. It happened when I was on Effexor too years ago, so I had to switch meds at that time. I'm seeing my psychiatrist next Monday so I'm going to tell him that I think I need to try something else, because for those of you who have experienced weight gain due to meds, it is really not fun. And for me, I have trouble losing weight as it is, so I would rather not add more pounds to the equation. I think it'll be okay though. I mean, the Zoloft seems to be helping my depression but not so much the anxiety, so we'll see what he suggests next.

Day 1

This is my first day and first foray into serious blogging. I feel that I've come to a point in my life where I no longer want to hide the fact that I have an anxiety disorder - panic and social anxiety disorders with mild agoraphobia, to be exact. I don't want to contribute to the stigma around mental illness and I feel that by not being honest about what I'm going through I'm not helping at all.

I will start off by giving some background on myself. I've been suffering from anxiety and depression my entire life, however I have only lived the past four years knowing what it is that I am living with. I had my first panic attack on the bus on the way to work four years ago. Shortly after that I became super tired on a daily basis with no energy and no motivation. Soon after that I became severely agoraphobic and couldn't even leave my house. It got so bad that my mother had to accompany me to all of my doctor appointments in an effort to find out what was actually going on in my body.

After months and months of tests my doctor finally concluded that what I had was not thyroid related or low blood sugar related or iron deficiency related, it was in fact anxiety related. She originally diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder although the diagnosis was later changed to panic disorder, social anxiety and mild agoraphobia. I was diagnosed with an illness that runs on my mother's side of the family, something genetic that I wasn't even aware of at the time.

So this is something I've been living with ever since. I've had many ups and downs over the past four years in terms of dealing with this. Right now I'm at a low point. I am currently on disability from my job and I'm currently taking Zoloft and seeing a psychiatrist and psychotherapist on a regular basis to assist me with my recovery.

One of the most important things I've learned while dealing with this condition is that I'm not alone, and oddly enough, the more people I tell about this, the more people tell me that they either are going through or have gone through the same thing or something similar. What??? That's right...many of my good friends have also been keeping their condition a secret and maybe by me saying something it might encourage them to say something or be more open with people about what they're going through.

Anyways, I think I have rambled on enough for my first post. I look forward to sharing my experiences with you and learning about yours. Please feel free to contact me at any time!

Most importantly, remember that you are not alone and we can and will get through this together eventually. I know it feels like the impossible right now, but I believe we can conquer this!