I wanted to do a quick blog post so you know I'm still alive. I've been very tired and possibly fighting off a virus, but I'm doing okay. I've been working a lot and it's been really exhausting to me. I guess going from no work to part-time to full-time in such a short period of time has taken a toll on me.
I saw my psychiatrist last week and we figured that taking an extra dose of medication per day wasn't helping at all, so I'm back to my regular three per day and don't feel any different. I'm staying positive and my friends are helping me to get back out there and back into the "normal" world by helping me and taking me out to eat, which is my biggest challenge with anxiety. I'm terrified of vomiting in public and I always get nauseous when I have anxiety so you can see how this can be a vicious circle. I'm always well equiped with my protective anti-nausea arsenal in my purse: a puke bag, ginger pills, mints, minty gum, pepto bismol, cocculine, and gravol (ginger-based non-drowsy one). Sometimes I even carry Tetley Ginger-Mint tea bags with me in case I get nauseous it usually helps me.
I know that there is a term for fear of throwing up called emetophobia, but I'm not sure if that's what I have nor do I want to put a label on it. I've put so many labels on myself throughout my life I really want to stop doing that. Nausea is my biggest symptom when I get anxious or nervous so I always make sure to have and do everything humanly possible to control those feelings. The funny thing is...I've never actually thrown up in all of these situations where I feel so incredibly nauseous (unless I've been sick due an actual virus). I know that a lot of it's in my head and now I'm trying to control my thoughts towards this as well as my anxiety in general.
The thought of ever being pregnant and dealing with morning sickness makes me queasy. I'm not sure how it'll be, especially because you can't take time off work for morning sickness. I'm not pregnant, but my husband and I do want kids in the next few years. I guess I'll just have to see how it goes. The important thing is that I'm working on it...and me...little by little.
1.26.2009
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4 comments:
Being pregnant - It was my wife's experience that the needs of the unborn child greatly outweighed her own problems, and she was able to go way outside her comfort zone when required - all without panic.
So if you want children, my humble suggestiion is - Go for it, and let Nature do the rest.
I know someone who has the fear of vomiting in public. I don't think she ever has either. I used to be really afraid of vomiting, but one day I got sick and got over that real fast :)
Isn't it amazing how much grief anxiety can cause? It's like a self-generating cancer that eats away at everything important in your life.
For me, it affects everything. Ambition is completely shot and all I want to do is clean and lay in bed. It's a terrible cycle but what I have found is the more I get out there and do things, the less anxious I will be.
Good Luck
It sounds to me like you have an irrational fear of vomiting in public (=emetophobia). Naming your fear won't make it worse, but quite possibly more manageable.
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