Day 1

This is my first day and first foray into serious blogging. I feel that I've come to a point in my life where I no longer want to hide the fact that I have an anxiety disorder - panic and social anxiety disorders with mild agoraphobia, to be exact. I don't want to contribute to the stigma around mental illness and I feel that by not being honest about what I'm going through I'm not helping at all.

I will start off by giving some background on myself. I've been suffering from anxiety and depression my entire life, however I have only lived the past four years knowing what it is that I am living with. I had my first panic attack on the bus on the way to work four years ago. Shortly after that I became super tired on a daily basis with no energy and no motivation. Soon after that I became severely agoraphobic and couldn't even leave my house. It got so bad that my mother had to accompany me to all of my doctor appointments in an effort to find out what was actually going on in my body.

After months and months of tests my doctor finally concluded that what I had was not thyroid related or low blood sugar related or iron deficiency related, it was in fact anxiety related. She originally diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder although the diagnosis was later changed to panic disorder, social anxiety and mild agoraphobia. I was diagnosed with an illness that runs on my mother's side of the family, something genetic that I wasn't even aware of at the time.

So this is something I've been living with ever since. I've had many ups and downs over the past four years in terms of dealing with this. Right now I'm at a low point. I am currently on disability from my job and I'm currently taking Zoloft and seeing a psychiatrist and psychotherapist on a regular basis to assist me with my recovery.

One of the most important things I've learned while dealing with this condition is that I'm not alone, and oddly enough, the more people I tell about this, the more people tell me that they either are going through or have gone through the same thing or something similar. What??? That's right...many of my good friends have also been keeping their condition a secret and maybe by me saying something it might encourage them to say something or be more open with people about what they're going through.

Anyways, I think I have rambled on enough for my first post. I look forward to sharing my experiences with you and learning about yours. Please feel free to contact me at any time!

Most importantly, remember that you are not alone and we can and will get through this together eventually. I know it feels like the impossible right now, but I believe we can conquer this!