Very useful web site...check it out!

I thought I would share this web site I found...RateMDs.com...where it allows you to rate your doctor(s) and you can also read what other patients have said about them. Doctors are rated in Canada, the U.S., the U.K., and Australia/New Zealand...you choose where you live and can see ratings for most doctors in all specialties. Doctors are rated on a scale of 1-5 based on punctuality, helpfulness, knowledge, and staff. I think it's a great tool for doing research on prospective doctors before you see them. As I realize it is only the opinions of the people who decide to take the time to rate, it would also have been useful to me had I looked up my psychiatrist on here prior to seeing him. I would have realized a long time ago what kind of medical professional he was. Glad to see I'm not the only one who views his services like this. He is a disgrace to the psychiatric profession, in my opinion.

Down for the count...

I've been completely housebound since Monday with a wretched cold. I've been trying to take it easy, rest, drink lots of fluids and try not to go through more than one box of Kleenex per day. I'm still feeling horrible, and now my husband has come down with it too. We're two sickies in a pod. Not fun since neither one of us will be able to "baby" the other while they're sick. We both have to buck up and get our own drinks...lol. Anyways, I hope you are all doing well. I just wanted to give you a heads-up on what's been going on with me since I haven't posted in a few days. I'm alive...just barely, but as soon as I kick this thing I will be up and running and posting a lot more. Wish I could kick my anxiety the way I can kick a cold!

Easter Weekend

I hope everybody had a really nice Easter weekend. Mine was pretty good. We spent Good Friday at home and just enjoyed the day relaxing and taking it easy. On Saturday we celebrated Easter and my brother's birthday with my side of the family. Then on Sunday my husband and I went to mass in the morning (it was packed!) and then had dinner with my in-laws. My husband took today off and we spent most of it relaxing as well. Much to my happiness, this weekend was pretty low-anxiety for me so I didn't spend too much energy being nervous and uncomfortable.

I also want to tell you about three fantastic books that I recently purchased on Amazon.ca:

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free From Anxiety, Phobias, and Worry Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by John P. Forsyth and Georg H. Eifert

From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett

I Don't Want To Be Crazy by Samantha Schutz

I have already read Lucinda Bassett and Samantha Schutz's books and I'm currently working through the Mindfulness workbook, but I highly recommend these three books to anyone dealing with an anxiety disorder. They are fantastic!!! Please e-mail me if you have any questions about any of them.

Great quotes...

I really wanted to share these with you, my readers...

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith. ~ Henry Ward Beecher ~

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday. ~ Author Unknown ~

I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal - and soon they'll forget my number. ~ Edith Armstrong ~

Do not be afraid of tomorrow; for God is already there. ~ Author Unknown ~

Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow. ~ Philip Gulley ~

Let me know if you have any of your own that you would like to share.

God in my life

I was born and raised Roman Catholic but I've never been overly religious or a very devout Christian. Until more recently. In battling my anxiety disorder I have become so much closer to God and my relationship with Him has developed a lot more. I find that I look to Him more often for guidance and strength. And I have to be honest, I think that my faith has been the one thing that has kept me going many times. For those of you who know what it's like to battle anxiety disorders on a daily basis, you can understand how hard it is to get motivated and hell, even get out of bed sometimes. I feel that God in my life has been a force and inspiration on many occasions where I needed help. Has anyone else experienced this or felt that God has helped them through hard times?

Prayer is a wonderful thing and I pray a lot that I will beat this thing one day. I have also started doing some research and listening to Christian music and have actually found some enjoyable artists. I would consider them to be more contemporary Christian or almost a pop music kind of feel. Anyways, if you're interested, check them out. I should note that so far I have only looked into female vocalists. I will get to the males eventually...I needed a starting point. And please send me your suggestions if you have any great artists you enjoy listening to when you need some inspiration or relaxation. I would love to hear from you!

Here are my newfound (female) artists:

Amanda Falk
Bethany Dillon
Jaci Valasquez
Joy Williams
Kristy Starling
Mandisa
Natalie Grant
Nichole Nordeman
Rachael Lampa
Rebecca St. James

Enjoy! :-)

Here I am!

I've been procrastinating in posting my next blog. For no other reason than general laziness, I suppose. Although my husband has been out of town on business for a week so I've been spending a lot of time at my parents' house...another reason I haven't posted in a while. Anyhow, I apologize and am now here to fill you in on the last few days in my life.

So, I saw my psychiatrist on Monday and I swear to God I wanted to slap him! I went in and sat down (after he accidentally skipped me and saw the person who was scheduled to see him after me) and explained that I wanted to change my meds from Zoloft to something else because since I've been on Zoloft (about a month and a half) I've gained about 15 lbs. Now, previously I had told him that the reason I had to get off Effexor (before I started seeing him) was because it had made me gain so much weight. I couldn't stop eating. It made me hungry all the time to the point where if I felt hungry and didn't eat I would feel faint. So back to Monday. I tell him I need to switch meds and you know what he says to me?

"Oh...I guess if I had remembered about your issues with weight gain and it had been on the top of my mind I would have never prescribed Zoloft for you. Many people gain weight on Zoloft."

Now you might be thinking that it was an innocent mistake that he forgot this, or didn't check my file before giving me Zoloft, but it's not. Since I've been seeing him (about 8-9 months), every appointment I am forced to tell him my whole life story and medical history because he's forgotten and can't bother to take five minutes before our appointments to review my file. I am so frustrated! I want to try and see someone else but I don't like confrontation and I also don't know how long it will be before I can get in to see someone else.

Anyways, so I had him give me a new prescription and I am now on Celexa. I have a few friends that have said it has helped them, so I'm really keeping my fingers crossed. If any of my readers have has experiences with this medication I would love to hear about it. The other ironic thing is that I asked my psychiatrist about Celexa the last time I saw him because I had heard good things about it, and he told me that Celexa is his number one choice to prescribe to patients with depression but not with anxiety. He said that he likes to stick to medications that have had more studies done regarding anxiety. Fair enough...but why then would he recommend it so eagerly to me this time instead of trying something else like Prozac (which he mentioned to me before)?

Has anyone else had such a rotten experience with a psychiatrist or someone else in the medical profession who is suppose to help you?

Not feeling too great

I haven't been feeling too great this week, which is why I haven't been writing. I've been laid up for most of the week due to a horrible migraine (I blame the severe weather changes we've been having in Toronto) and I'm still not feeling better. We got a huge dumping of snow yesterday and apparently there's more to come tomorrow. Now, I just love snow. No, really! I do. Just not when the temperatures go from warmer to freezing and cause my head to spin. Ugh! Thank goodness I live in an apartment so at least there's no shovelling when I feel like this.

This weekend

This weekend was a little busier for me than usual. I attended a family birthday party on Friday night and then dropped in on some friends on Saturday to see their new house. I have to say that the party on Friday, where there were about 30 people crammed into a very tight area, where I feel like I should have felt anxious, I wasn't. And on Saturday, where it was just my husband and I with our two friends, touring their house I felt super anxious. Does this make any sense to you? Normally I'm okay when it's just a few people, but a basketcase in a crowd. Either way, I have to congratulate myself for making it through both situations, right? And even though I felt nauseous on Saturday, of course I never threw up. I just have to keep that in mind that no matter how nauseous I get when I'm anxious, I've never actually thrown up from it.

On another note, I'm noticing that since I've been on Zoloft (which has only been a few weeks) I've been super hungry all the time and as a result have gained a bit of weight. It happened when I was on Effexor too years ago, so I had to switch meds at that time. I'm seeing my psychiatrist next Monday so I'm going to tell him that I think I need to try something else, because for those of you who have experienced weight gain due to meds, it is really not fun. And for me, I have trouble losing weight as it is, so I would rather not add more pounds to the equation. I think it'll be okay though. I mean, the Zoloft seems to be helping my depression but not so much the anxiety, so we'll see what he suggests next.